This article is about Hurricane Olivia, a long-lasting Category 4 hurricane that affected Hawaii as a tropical storm in September 2018, shortly after Hurricane Lane passed by a few weeks prior.
NoahTalk 21:05, 1 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Image licensing looks OK (
t ·
c) buidhe 21:09, 1 May 2021 (UTC)reply
"Olivia formed southwest of Mexico on September 1. The depression" - you never said it formed as a depression. I suggest either you avoid mentioning depression here, or find a way of incorporating that
You link Category 4 hurricane twice in the lead, but to two different articles. Seems odd
Removed the second link.
NoahTalk 23:02, 6 May 2021 (UTC)reply
"Olivia made brief landfalls in northwest Maui and Lanai on September 12, becoming the first tropical cyclone to impact the islands in recorded history." - you mention in the lead that it was the first recorded landfall, not just "impact". Also, you mention the landfall on those islands three times in the lead.
I removed that mention and kept the opening as well as the one with the wind information.
NoahTalk 23:02, 6 May 2021 (UTC)reply
"Torrential rainfall occurred on both Maui and Oahu, peaking at 12.93 in (328 mm) in West Wailuaiki, Maui. On Maui" - any way you can avoid saying "Maui" twice within three words?
"most notably Lower Honoapiilani Road where cliffs were eroded along its shoulder; repairs to that road are still ongoing." - still, as of May 2021? The source says January 2021.
I can't find anything more recent than that.
NoahTalk 23:12, 6 May 2021 (UTC)reply
" United States President Donald Trump" - this makes me vomit a little bit with some mild PTSD, but nothing you can do about that
"Later in the day, the amount of banding features – significantly elongated, curved bands of rain clouds – increased significantly while Olivia's inner core strengthened" - can you avoid saying "significantly" twice?
Explained that models predicted weakening due to dry air and lower SSTs.
NoahTalk 23:25, 7 May 2021 (UTC)reply
You never linked Kalawao County. Conversely, you re-link all of the islands in the last section. Watch for the duplicate links
Removed several duplicate links and linked that county.
NoahTalk 23:25, 7 May 2021 (UTC)reply
You link the
Kamehameha Highway twice. The first time is in Maui, even though the highway is on Oahu.
Removed the mention of this road in Maui.
NoahTalk 23:25, 7 May 2021 (UTC)reply
What is a brown water advisory? Also, you say - " Previously, the entire island of Maui had been under a brown water advisory." - when was that "previously"? Was it due to Lane?
Rephrased and clarified based on what was in that source.
NoahTalk 22:38, 7 May 2021 (UTC)reply
"An elderly woman was rescued by Malia Wong and the latter's husband during the storm. " - usually we don't mention specific people involved in events unless they are significant.
Changed to neighbors.
NoahTalk 22:38, 7 May 2021 (UTC)reply
"The Red Cross helped with recovery efforts. " - you link the
Red Cross, but it should probably be the American Red Cross
"Wong donated pallets of diapers, water, food, and clothing to people who were severely impacted." - this seems like unnecessary detail from some random person. Is this some philanthropic millionaire? Was this person the only person who donated, and that's why Wong is important?
Comment The article had a missing short description, I added it for you, but please be careful about that in the future. ~~🌀𝚂𝙲𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙰🌀 12:26, 7 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Accessibility: the infobox image would benefit from alt text.
Heartfox (
talk) 17:10, 8 May 2021 (UTC)reply
All of my concerns were addressed in either the A-Class Review or Hurricanehink's comments above. I think that Hurricanehink picked out the last of the issues with this article I didn't find any more issues. The sources also look good to me. I believe that this article is ready for a promotion to FA. LightandDark2000 🌀 (
talk) 17:04, 14 May 2021 (UTC)reply
I may make typos as I am on a mobile device. There are just a few minor issues.
You need alt text in the collapsible set showing all the season's articles.
Navigational templates at the bottom of pages do not need alt text as their sole purpose is to navigate from article to article. The image in the box is purely decorative.
NoahTalk 01:24, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
began a weakening trend could be shortened to began/started to weaken or just simply weakened.
Olivia became a
Category 1 hurricane around 00:00 UTC on September 4 while located 575 mi (925 km) southwest of Cabo San Lucas. needs a comma between "September 4" and "while", as well as the advisory as a reference.
Added a comma. This sentence and the next are both are supported by the TCR.
NoahTalk 01:24, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
The cyclone continued to intensify, reaching its initial peak intensity as a 125 mph (205 km/h) Category 3 major hurricane at 00:00 UTC on September 5. change to The cyclone continued to intensify, and at 00:00 UTC, it reached its first peak intensity as a Category 3 hurricane, with wind speeds of 125 mph (205 km/h).
To be honest, I think breaking it up like that would make it read a bit choppy.
NoahTalk 01:31, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
The hurricane began to weaken shortly after as sea surface temperatures decreased, wind shear increased, and dry air entrained into the storm. Olivia's eyewall collapsed in the north and convection eroded in the northwestern quadrant. when?
Models had predicted that Olivia would weaken as a result of dry air and lower sea surface temperatures. you have to tie this in. Merge it into another sentence: Despite the predictions of models,[12] Olivia strengthened over the next day, regaining major hurricane status by 12:00 UTC on September 6.
I didn't take the suggestion as that would involve removing details about the not-so-great environmental conditions. I split off the part about the unexpected intensification and added it to the end of model prediction sentence.
NoahTalk 01:24, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Cooler, 77–79 °F (25–26 °C) sea surface temperatures change to Cooler sea surface temperatures of 77–79 °F (25–26 °C)
Low wind shear and slightly higher sea surface temperatures allowed Olivia to restrengthen slightly and re-develop an eye feature on
satellite imagery later that day. put the "later that day" at the beginning of the sentence.
The
United States Coast Guard initiated Condition Whiskey what is Condition Whiskey? Same with X-ray and Yankee.
I'm going to add in some notes for these.
NoahTalk 01:31, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Hololani Resort Condominiums and Goodfellow Bros, the company performing the work, was fined $75,000 in that month for violating state and county regulations. what regulations did they violate?
Added in state health and county environmental. I don't know any more specifics on what exact regulations got violated.
NoahTalk 01:31, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
An elderly woman was rescued by her neighbors during the storm. replace "was" with "had to be".
I think "had to be" implies there was no other option (such as waiting for/contacting authorities), which I don't believe the source supports. I consider "was" to be more neutral.
NoahTalk 01:24, 18 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Overall, tourism increased in the month of October, following the two storms replace "following" with "despite".
Will request access... Likely won't be able to get this added in until at least Monday.
NoahTalk 01:28, 23 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Upon looking at the source, it appears to mostly be a briefer regurgitation of the information in the TCR (Only includes the Eastern Pacific portion). I don't really think there is anything worth including here, although it could be a useful source for some general information for the season article.
NoahTalk 14:19, 24 May 2021 (UTC)reply
FN23 has first and last names reversed. Ditto FN46, check for others
Appears another source in the article already covered the information.
NoahTalk 01:28, 23 May 2021 (UTC)reply
FN64: what makes this a high-quality reliable source?
Nikkimaria (
talk) 13:33, 22 May 2021 (UTC)reply
A decent number of news and insurance sources use AON's estimates and other materials:
[2],
[3],
[4],
[5], and
[6] to name a few.
NoahTalk 00:05, 23 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Would suggest in-text attribution.
Nikkimaria (
talk) 14:55, 24 May 2021 (UTC)reply
@
Nikkimaria: I should have addressed everything. Let me know if there are any other problems.
NoahTalk 14:19, 24 May 2021 (UTC)reply
HF
Never reviewed a hurricane FAC before, so this will be interesting.
Hog FarmTalk 04:30, 23 May 2021 (UTC)reply
"The fifteenth named storm, ninth hurricane, and sixth major hurricane of the 2018 Pacific hurricane season,[1][nb 1] A tropical depression formed southwest of Mexico on September 1." - The back half of the first of these two sentences appears to be missing
I forgot to fix that when I rewrote the sentence.
NoahTalk 13:56, 25 May 2021 (UTC)reply
" most notably Lower Honoapiilani Road where cliffs were eroded along its shoulder; repairs to that road are still ongoing" - needs an as of date here
"The Honolua Ditch was clogged with debris; authorities asked customers to conserve water for the remainder of September while the ditch is cleaned out and repaired." - The "is" towards the end of this sentence should be a "was", as this is referring to things from several years ago
" Hololani Resort Condominiums and Goodfellow Bros, the company performing the work, was fined $75,000 in that month for violating state health and county environmental regulations" - not convinced that the fining of a company doing repair work is really relevant to an article about the storm.
It is a part of the aftermath of Olivia. We have had cases of company misconduct being included for past storms. It is similar to a country's gov't being criticized for its efforts.
NoahTalk 13:56, 25 May 2021 (UTC)reply
I'm still not entirely convinced that it quite belongs, but this is minor enough I'm still comfortable supporting this.
Hog FarmTalk 20:50, 25 May 2021 (UTC)reply
I feel like 0 fatalities should be directly cited somewhere
It's generally understood by default that nobody died unless it can be proven that people were killed.
NoahTalk 13:56, 25 May 2021 (UTC)reply
This one's in pretty good shape; most of my comments are minor prose concerns. Some of the descriptions of the flooding damage remind me of some disaster relief work I did after the
2019 Midwestern U.S. floods along the Missouri River.
Hog FarmTalk 04:39, 24 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Support on
WP:FACR #1a, 1b, 1c (checked Gscholar and ProQuest to make sure that this hasn't been written about in scholarly journals, which it doesn't seem to have been), 1d, 1e, 2a, 2b, 2c, and 4; did not check against others.
Hog FarmTalk 20:50, 25 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Support from 100cellsman
I looked through the article and did not see any particular problems that would be objectionable. Nice work! 웃
OO 03:13, 26 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Closing note: This
candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see
WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{
featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the
bot goes through.
Gog the Mild (
talk) 12:58, 26 May 2021 (UTC)reply
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.