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This review is transcluded from Talk:Bill Waller/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Muboshgu ( talk · contribs) 23:37, 25 September 2022 (UTC) reply

I can review this. –  Muboshgu ( talk) 23:37, 25 September 2022 (UTC) reply

Lead
  • Some more commas are necessary. Definitely need one after the year in In 1964 he twice. I think they may also be needed around in 1950
  • Remove successfully in front of shut down, as it is unnecessary.
Early life
  • This large paragraph should be split into two. The education seems to be the spot for a paragraph break.
    • Now split.
  • Take out the "United States" from that first sentence.
    • I disagree on the grounds of WP:GLOBAL, not every reader is going to know where MS is.
      • I understand the point regarding systemic bias, but WP:USPLACE says Articles on US cities should never be titled "City, Country" (e.g., "Detroit, United States") or "City, State, Country" (e.g., "Kansas City, Missouri, U.S.") because that is contrary to general American usage. That is about article titles, but "City, State, Country" is not how we describe geographic locations. –  Muboshgu ( talk) 01:34, 27 September 2022 (UTC) reply
        • Out of deference to the general trend I have removed "United States", though I think if I removed the country specification from all the articles on Congolese people I've written because [locale, province] was "enough" most of our editors would be confused.
          • I'm pretty sure the MOS would treat Congolese geography differently. –  Muboshgu ( talk) 03:18, 29 September 2022 (UTC) reply
            • Well, that's a presumptuous standard, but for another time. - Indy beetle ( talk) 03:20, 29 September 2022 (UTC) reply
  • Add {{ convert}} on the 300 acres.
    • Done.
  • What exactly do you mean they fared better than their neighbors? Did any of them go under? Did the Wallers thrive?
    • Nossiter only writes "There was not much money to spare, but the Wallers were better off than many of their neighbors and often produced enough to share with some of them".
  • bachelor's degree in business administration as in Bachelor of Business Administration?
    • Yes, linked.
  • What years did he complete his degrees?
    • This has remained elusive. I fairly sure he got his law degree in 1950, but no confirmation as of yet.
  • Do we know when exactly he enlisted in the Army?
    • Sources are elusive on this as well. I imagine either late 1950 or early 1951 but I don't know.
  • It says in the infobox that he and his wife married in 1950 but the year isn't present in the prose.
    • Added with source.
Early political career
  • Should probably detail his first term before we mention that he was reelected. It might just mean moving his reelection to the end of the paragraph. It could be good to know how he won a second term despite the ire of law enforcement.
    • Nossiter does not go into much detail about his DA career other than the prosecution of De La Beckwith. Newspapers.com is also providing little beyond routine court news.
  • Is Waller presented his case against Beckwith well grammatical? Maybe it is, but it seems off to me. Please take off the apostrophe from "witnesses".
    • Removed apostrophes, revised as Waller ably presented his case against Beckwith.
  • Fuck Byron De La Beckwith. That said, maybe it'd be better to note rather than Waller unsuccessfully prosecuted Byron De La Beckwith that he prosecuted him and at the end of the paragraph, note the verdict. It sounds like a hung jury?
    • Removed the superfluous "unsuccessful"s and linked hung jury.
  • Add commas after By the mid-1960s and In 1967
    • Done.
  • Can you clarify what is meant by significant organization?
    • Campaign organization, specified.
  • "To" the weekends, rather than "on" them
    • I think confined to active campaigning on the weekends is grammatically correct.
  • The last sentence is the first mention of the Democratic Party in the body so instead add in the In 1967 sentence that he was running in the Democratic primary, with link.
    • Done.
1971 campaign and election
  • Could also benefit from being split into two paragraphs, maybe before the runoff
    • Done.
  • Need a MOS:GEOCOMMA after Memphis, Tennessee
    • Done.
  • Barnett was introduced before, but not that he was governor. Slight reword there please.
    • Done.
  • Mention that Charles Evers is the brother of Medgar
    • Done.
  • both him and Waller --> both candidates
    • That would be repetitious of the word candidate, and I wouldn't want to imply that this necessarily applied to Brady—I don't think it did.
Executive action and appointments
  • Comma after In August 1972, In 1972, and The following week
    • Done.
  • Vernon Dahmer has a wiki page and needs a wikilink
    • Done.
Legislative action
  • Any more detail on how many vetoes were overridden?
    • Nossiter is not specific on this, though he says that the legislature did override three on one day in the spring of 1974.
  • Comma after In February 1974 and severance tax
    • Done.
  • Link state constitution to Constitution of Mississippi, link Mississippi Highway Patrol
    • Linked constitution, HP was already linked.
Political affairs
  • Too much for one paragraph, please split
    • Done.
  • So, he didn't run for reelection in 1975? Any idea why?
    • This was legally impossible. Mississippi governors could only run for successive terms beginning in 1988.
Later political career
  • Comma after On March 20
    • Done.
  • Expand on 1987 race, one sentence isn't enough for a gubernatorial candidacy I don't think
    • Added some info.
Later life and legacy
  • Comma after On November 29, 2011
    • Done.
  • It reads oddly to have his death presented like this, with the sentence about his memoir publication four years prior right ahead of it. It should be a different paragraph, maybe even in "Later political career" even though it's not part of an election.
    • I put it here for lack of a better destination. It's not a part of his political career, and it's really the only thing of note about his later life other than his death.
  • His son's career should also not be in the same paragraph as his death.
    • Moved to where his family is mentioned.

I tried to find more, but most of these points feel minor. The article is stable, has appropriate images, is well written aside from the above comments, verifiable, broad, and neutral. Lmk when these things are fixed up. –  Muboshgu ( talk) 01:40, 26 September 2022 (UTC) reply

  • @ Muboshgu: I have responded to your comments. - Indy beetle ( talk) 11:16, 28 September 2022 (UTC) reply
    I'm reviewing it again. –  Muboshgu ( talk) 03:20, 29 September 2022 (UTC) reply
    I think this is a really good article. Any other comments are too nitpicky for a GA review. Excellent work, I'm happy to pass this. –  Muboshgu ( talk) 17:57, 29 September 2022 (UTC) reply
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