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Second and third sentences of the lead start with "It..."
Last two sentences of the lead start with "The hurricane..."
I think I fixed the above two, but I fixed it assuming the complaint was two sentences in a row beginning with the same word(s). If this wasn't right, feel free to revert me.
Ks0stm(
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G)18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)reply
"The circulation became much better defined the next day, and on October 23 Olivia turned northeastward, attaining hurricane status that evening." - Redundancy/time confusion. You state the next day (following October 22) then state on October 23. To me, that reads as if there is a day between the two.
"Further intensification occurred, and around 0500 UTC on October 25 Olivia made landfall on Mazatlán, Sinaloa with peak winds of 115 mph (185 km/h), with gusts to 140 miles per hour (230 km/h)..." - with peak winds...with gusts. Slight repetition, better to reword it.
"...although precipitation of around 1 in (25 mm) reached as far south as Michoacán." - How far is this from where the center was?
"Olivia is one of only three major hurricanes on record to strike Mazatlan, the others being the 1943 hurricane, as well as another in 1957; in addition Hurricane Tico in 1983 came close." - close to what?
Sorry to Hurricanehink and Cyclonebiskit, as this appears to be the second time I've hijacked a GAN involving you two, but I think I have fixed most of the issues. The only ones needed fixing or improvement in my opinion are the one I didn't do anything with and the two where I don't think my wording was ideal.
Ks0stm(
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C•
G)18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)reply
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