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Have clarified to say that the full course yellow was shown in place of "neutralised racing".
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"their mandatory pit stops for the switch into a second car" — I'm confused by this. Was the switch a result of the crash, or a feature of the race?
It was a result of the Felix da Costa and di Grassi crash
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"the latter made his own stop." — for the car switch, or something else?
Conway did switch into his second car.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
It was Buemi's fifth victory of the season, his first in Paris, and the eleventh of his career." — first ever in Paris, or first of the season in Paris?
It was Buemi's first career victory in Paris.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
In that case, I'll suggest reordering to "It was Buemi's fifth victory of the season, the eleventh of his career, and his first in Paris."
Suggested change has been noted and put into the article.
MWright96(talk) 10:32, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"ahead of di Grassi" ... "non-scoring Audi Sport ABT" — suggest adding commas after "Grassi" and "ABT".
"e.Dams-Renault and Buemi had dominated the championship..." — I suggest putting this, and everything in the paragraph that follows it, at the beginning of the paragraph. It's more general than the specific points standings, and thus is better as an intro to the standings.
"podium finish, "It's a..." — you need an introduction to the quotation, e.g., "podium finish, saying "It's a..."
"José María López felt his team were" (and throughout the paragraph, and in "Post-race") — you can't know what López felt, you can only know what he said he felt (particularly apt here, when it's drivers rattling off sports clichés).
"Buemi used the full 200 kilowatts (270 hp) available to him" — literally, or is this a figure of speech? If the latter, I'd reword (or you could get away with dropping the "full").
"the session was stopped after three minutes." — Bird's session? Or the entire thing? I'd use a different word than "session," because it's confusing when you're talking about what happened during two practice sessions (one 45 minutes long, one 30 minutes).
Changed to clarify that first practice was stopped.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
Was it temporarily stopped, or was it ended? "Stopped" makes me think ended, but you said it "ran for 45 minutes", and you then talk about López's practice run.
The session was indeed temporarily stopped and have clarified this fact.
MWright96(talk) 14:39, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"to reverse out the corner" — should be "to reverse out of the corner".
"with one driver on the track at any time going out in reverse order." — this is confusing. Do you mean fifth fastest first, fourth fastest second, and so on?
"the starting order was determined by the participants' fastest times." — although I'm confused by the last sentence, this looks like it might be redundant.
"went fastest in the track's first sector to become the quickest competitor in the second group" — fastest/quickest is redundant, how about "sector to lead the second group".
"rounded out the third group's slowest three drivers." — odd to talk about the "slowest three" when one was actually right in the middle. How about just "rounded out the third group."
"investigated for inadvertently using" — was he investigated for using the energy, and then it was termed inadvertent? Or was the investigation into "inadvertent using of excessive energy"? If the former, you should just say "investigated for using".
Lopez was investigated for the inadvertent usage of excessive electrical energy.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"went fastest" ... "went faster" — should be "was fastest" and "was faster".
Done
"The margin of gap to Vergne" — "margin of gap" sounds a bit odd.
"benefited from the track's tight nature" — how so?
That is not explained clearly in the source.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"Di Grassi was driving faster than Dillmann ahead of him; however, he had difficulty getting ahead of the French driver." — which means that on average, he wasn't driving aster than Dillmann at all.
"the latter lost seventh to di Grassi and then Prost overtook him for eighth shortly afterwards." — how about "the latter lost seventh to di Grassi and then eighth to Prost shortly afterwards."
"the event finished behind the safety car" — when this happens, are drivers allowed to try to pass each other, or is it a game of follow the leader?
Drivers are not permitted to overtake one another under safety car conditions unless one has a mechanical problem.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"rounded out the top ten points-scoring positions." — should be "rounding", and are you trying to say that 11th to 20th didn't score points, or juts that they rounded out the top ten? It's unclear.
d (No evidence of plagiarism or copyright violations): Copying appears confined to attributed quotations.
3. It is broad in its scope.
a (major aspects):
— Major aspects (pre/during/post) and context are covered.
b (focused):
— Article is focused.
4. It follows the neutral point of view policy — Article is neutral. However, as noticed in the prose points, you can't know what somebody felt or believed—you can only know what they said they felt or believed.
5. It is stable — Article is stable.
6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
— Images are captioned, but can we get alt text for them?
7. Overall:
Pass/Fail:
This Looks great
MWright96, and will have no problems passing. There are many prose suggestions, but they're quite minor ; if you disagree with them, just say so. Other than that, just looking for some rephrasing regarding point of view, and for alt text accompanying the images. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 00:37, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
@
Usernameunique: Alright, I have made changes and have replied where necessary. Let me know if there are any other issues concerning this article.
MWright96(talk) 10:17, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
Thanks
MWright96. Added a few small comments above. Other than that, I'm just about to give the article one last quick read. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 12:51, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply
Looks great,
MWright96, thanks for the quick responses. I'll pass this as soon as I can figure out how. If you ever get around to it, fixing the #4 link ("Five seconds added to race time") so that it links upwards three times would be nice. Let me know if/when you take this to FAC, and you'll have my support. --
Usernameunique (
talk) 15:01, 3 January 2018 (UTC)reply