"Several storms this year affect land." – The "this year" makes it sound more current. I'd revise to say, "Several of the tropical cyclones that developed during the season affected land." Also, instead of "For example", I'd list the month of when Estelle hit Mexico: "In [Month]..."
Decline your suggestion, but fixed "this year".
YEPacificHurricane 03:50, 11 October 2012 (UTC)reply
I disagree, TA's suggestion is a much more natural way to start the paragraph. --♫
Hurricanehink (
talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)reply
There were more than several tropical cyclones in 1986, so theorefore, it is factually inaccurate.
YEPacificHurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)reply
"one short of the record set in 1982, which had 26 depressions." – Remove the original research.
" In addition, Hurricane Estelle came close enough to Hawaii to require a hurricane watch." – I would reword to read, "In addition, Hurricane Estelle passed within such close range of the island of Hawaii that a hurricane watch was eventually required"...or something like that.
"The first, Tropical Depression Seven began as a large area of thunderstorms near Hurricane Estelle on July 17." – Same as above...add a comma after the depression's number.
He's already reviewed it the second time around and why did you remove my comment?
YEPacificHurricane 17:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)reply
I'm allowed to review more than once. And you shouldn't withdraw the GAN and then put up another GAN, without this failing. I'm reviewing this now. --♫
Hurricanehink (
talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)reply
Why don't you say how many hurricanes formed in the first paragraph of the lede? Saying "17 tropical storms and hurricanes" is unusual. --♫
Hurricanehink (
talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)reply
You should probably mention in the lede that Roslyn was the strongest storm.
Can any of the season summary be put into the lede? Namely that first paragraph. You're allowed to put some material in the lede, if it summarizes the whole article and it's sourced.
Most of the SS is a bit too indepth to go in the lead.
YEPacificHurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)reply
The tropical depression section in the summary should probably be under a ===Tropical depressions=== at the bottom of the "storms" section. Also, why does TD 2E have a section but none of the others do?
Same reason why some TD's have a section in the
2012 Pacific typhoon season and others don't. Therefore, a ===Tropical depressions=== section would not be accurate.
YEPacificHurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)reply
"Activity in the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center's (EPHC) area of responsibility was above average" - again, compared to what?
"The season began with the formation of Hurricane Agatha on May 22 and the dissipation of Tropical Depression Twenty Five-E on October 25" - you realize that means that the season began on May 22 and October 25, which implies two separate beginnings?
" Five storms formed in August, though only two of them impacted any land." - why the "though"? That implies something semi-contradictory, but I don't see what.
2 out of 5 is less than half, which while by ATL folks (who are most likely reading this article) is unusual.
YEPacificHurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)reply
" $2 million (1986 US$; $4.24 million 2012 USD)." - why the inflation, and why the "US$"? You didn't mention it in a previous damage total.
That's because the Paine damage total is in the lead, while Estelle's is not as it is not one of the costliest EPAC systems.
YEPacificHurricane
"Tropical Depression Eight began over 81 °F (27 °C) water" - why do you mention the water? What is the significance?
"continued to move west at velocities as high" - why do you mention (and link) "velocity" here?
I think given that it was moving at a very fast pace, it's speed is important. Velocity is not that common of a term.
YEPacificHurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)reply
"It is likely that the depression was formed from the remnants of a Tropical Depression Eight-E that had dissipated a few days earlier well to the east of 140 °W." - remove the "was" and "had"
"It passed well south of the Hawaiian Islands on July 28 with no noticeable effects on the island's weather" - you need to fix the noun agreement. "Hawaiian Islands" are plural, but "island's" is not.
"On July 29 at 0000 UTC, it had dissipated to the southwest of the Hawaiian Islands and the final advisory was issued." - remove "had", and either switch to dissipation, or mention somewhere that CPHC did advisories, since otherwise it's unclear who made the advisories.
"An area of disturbed weather developed a circulation on August 12 and was respectively upgraded upgraded into Tropical Depression Twelve nearly 700 mi (1,100 km) south of the Baja California Peninsula." - please simply. Just say "Tropical Depression Twelve developed from an area of disturbed weather on August 12, about 700 mi (1,100 km) south of the Baja California Peninsula."
"Tropical Depression Seventeen formed on September 8 30 km (19 mi) east of Socorro Island " - the 8 and 30 next to each other is weird, and please round.
"from a westward-moving tropical disturbance in the ITCZ." - link and explain what ITCZ is here, not in Blas's section. (unless you move the TD's to the bottom of the storm summary)
"However the depression lasted a short time, only six hours, when it dissipated, likely due to the close distance between it and Tropical Storm Madeline" - simply
"Shortly thereafter, the cyclone made an abrupt change in direction, turning towards the north." - you should have mentioned beforehand that the system was moving to the southeast.