"I Admit" is a 19-minute song by American singer
R. Kelly.[1] Released on
SoundCloud on July 23, 2018,[3] the song addresses the singer's
sexual abuse scandals.[4][5] "I Admit" was written by Kelly and Raphael Ramos Oliveira,[2] and produced by Kelly and Noc.[6] The release of "I Admit" followed a 2017 BuzzFeed News investigative report that alleged that Kelly operated a "
sex cult", and a
2018 boycott of Kelly backed by
Time's Up. In "I Admit", Kelly makes a number of confessions, including that he is
dyslexic,[7] that he has been
sexually unfaithful,[8] and that he was
raped.[6] Kelly does not make any
criminal admissions, but instead denies allegations of
domestic violence and
pedophilia. The lyrics rebuke
Jim DeRogatis for his BuzzFeed News report, and disavow the report's allegations that Kelly is in charge of a "sex cult".
Critics reviewed "I Admit" unfavorably. Some reviewers contrasted the title with the lack of criminal admissions in the lyrics, and described the song as an act of
trolling. The song was compared to Kelly's
rap operaTrapped in the Closet and
O. J. Simpson's book If I Did It, which addressed Simpson’s allegations of
murder. Reviewers noted that Kelly's lyrics more closely resemble a
self-defense than an admission or mea culpa.[9][10][11] The release of "I Admit" led to a response from DeRogatis, who defended his journalism in two interviews. R. Kelly's respective ex-wife,
Andrea Kelly, and brother, Carey "Killa" Kelly, released songs in response to "I Admit" that contain additional allegations against R. Kelly. The song also attracted criticism on
social media.
In July 2017,
Jim DeRogatis contributed an article to BuzzFeed News detailing legal investigations from three families regarding their daughters' alleged
kidnappings after they established relationships with Kelly. The article characterized Kelly's operations as a "
cult", and included interviews with three of Kelly's former associates.[13] However, both Kelly[14] and the daughters[15] refuted the claims.
"I Admit" was released on the
SoundCloud account of Julius Darrington, CEO of the AudioDream
record label, on July 23, 2018.[3][24]RCA Records, Kelly's former label at the time, did not confirm whether they were associated with the song.[24] Kelly promoted the release with a post, "Today is the day you've been waiting for", across
Facebook,
Twitter, and
Instagram.[25][26][27]
After the January 2019 broadcast of Surviving R. Kelly, Kelly appeared in a CBS This Morning interview on March 8, 2019, in which
Gayle King asked him whether "I Admit" was his "way of
confessing". Kelly responded, "That question makes no sense, no offense, but what I'm saying is this: 'I Admit' was me expressing my feelings about the things I was going through. If you're listening to it, you can hear exactly what I'm admitting."[28][29]
A sample of "I Admit" containing the "I admit it, I did it"
chorus and the first four lines of the seventh verse, in which Kelly questions the definitions of the terms cult and sex slave[30]
Despite the song's title and Kelly's repetition of the lyric "I admit it, I did it" in the
chorus,[34] "I Admit" does not contain any
criminal admissions.[35] Kelly denies accusations of
domestic violence, involvement in a "
sex cult", and
pedophilia in his lyrics,[4] dismissing them as matters of
opinion.[34] Kelly does not admit
guilt regarding the 2008
acquittal of his
sex tape allegations, but maintains that he has been "
falsely accused"[35] and sings that his lawyer advised him to "don't say
noth'".[12] Although Kelly admits to
casual sex with "both older and young ladies", he states that all of them were "
over age".[36][37] The lyrics denounce DeRogatis for profiting from his reports of Kelly's scandals,[4] and
John Legend,
Steve Harvey, and
Tom Joyner for refusing to publicly defend Kelly from his accusers.[12] He also refused to discuss his
1994 voided marriage to deceased singer
Aaliyah, but claimed in a verse that during a phone call to
Wendy Williams, he said that his relationship with Aaliyah was "love".[38]
In response to the
Mute R. Kelly campaign,[3] Kelly sings, "only
God can mute me".[8] Kelly expresses support for a "women's group",[6][37] but also exclaims that "they
tryna lock me up like Bill", referring to
Bill Cosby, who at the time was awaiting
incarceration after his April 2018
sexual assault convictions.[11][39][40] Kelly finishes the song by telling the audience to "stay the fuck out of my business",[31] and inviting his birthplace of
Chicago to use his image as inspiration for city youth.[6][41]
Critical reception
Several reviewers characterized "I Admit" as an act of
trolling, since the name of the song overstates the magnitude of the admissions contained within the lyrics.[6][42][43] Elyse Wanshel of HuffPost noted similarities between this song and If I Did It,[44] a book by
O. J. Simpson that contains a hypothetical description of the alleged murder in
Simpson's murder case.[45] Writing for The Daily Beast, Stereo Williams described the song as "20 minutes of defensive rambling and R. Kelly
nailing himself to a cross". Williams asserted that Kelly "
paints himself as the victim: the victim of the media, of sycophants, of his childhood abuser, of his own illiteracy" while "baiting his critics with a number of shockingly brazen lyrical references to his behavior".[43]
In a review for The Atlantic, Hannah Giorgis compared the song's structure to Kelly's
rap operaTrapped in the Closet, and remarked, "The specter of harmful actions is softened by the harmonies of the lullaby." Giorgis described Kelly's delivery as "a stomach-churning mix of
self-pity and
hubris" and criticized Kelly for refusing to address the alleged victims directly. She noted that "at no point does he speak to—rather than at or about—the women who have come forward" and wrote, "none of the women who have recounted tales of Kelly's abuse is worthy of being the hero in this story. Kelly, and Kelly alone, occupies that mantle."[12]
Ann-Derrick Gaillot of The Outline considered "I Admit" a "bad song" and "a 20-minute long plea to save his dying career", and stated that the release of the song demonstrated that Kelly was "no longer invincible".[41] In Rolling Stone, Michael Arcenaux lambasted Kelly for attempting to "invoke his own
trauma to excuse the
grief he is alleged to have caused in so many women and girls".[11]Broadly's Leila Ettachfini labeled the song as "a bizarre attempt to garner some
sympathy from the public in hopes that it could somehow absolve Kelly for his alleged crimes against women and girls", but remarked that "the song doesn't seem to be achieving Kelly's desired effect".[34]
Responses
In interviews with Variety and Billboard, DeRogatis denied that his reporting of Kelly's allegations had been a significant factor in his own career growth. DeRogatis defended his continued coverage of Kelly by disclosing that he still received calls from
sources. He said, "You're not a journalist or a human being if you get those calls and do not do your job." Regarding the
song's composition, DeRogatis saw "I Admit" as a continuation of Kelly's 10-minute
remix of "
I Believe I Can Fly" from his unreleased album, Loveland, in which Kelly sings a plea to
Saint Peter at the gates of
heaven.[46][47][48]
Andrea Kelly, R. Kelly's ex-wife, shared lyrics to her remix titled "Admit It" on Instagram on July 24, 2018.[49][50] In her remix, Andrea alleges that R. Kelly
physically abused her and
neglected their children.[51] In response to a lyric on "I Admit" where R. Kelly describes his relationship with his deceased mother, Joanne Kelly, Andrea sings that Joanne would disapprove of his actions.[52] Andrea also accuses R. Kelly of being a "
dead beat dad" and urges him to obtain "professional help".[53]
R. Kelly's brother, Carey "Killa" Kelly, released a
diss track named "I Confess" on
YouTube on August 3, 2018.[54][55] Replying to R. Kelly's claim on "I Admit" that Carey abandoned him, Carey echoes an April 2018
sexual misconduct allegation in which a woman accused R. Kelly of
intentionally giving her a
sexually transmitted infection, mainly
genital herpes.[56][57] In "I Confess", Carey also implies that R. Kelly
had sex with other men;[55][58][59] two "John Does" would later testify against Kelly in a federal
New York City criminal trial, which charged him with sex trafficking and racketeering, in late-August 2021, confirming this allegation, but stating that he
groomed and abused them.[60][61][62]
Black Twitter responded negatively to "I Admit", with many users expressing disgust at the song's lyrical content.[63] The song was poorly received by other artists;
Talib Kweli remarked that Kelly's "lack of
self awareness is atrocious"[64] and
Questlove tweeted, "#IAdmit I want my 19 mins back".[65][66] The co-founder of the Mute R. Kelly social media campaign,
Oronike Odeleye, called the song a "19-minute
sex trafficking fundraising anthem" and interpreted its release as an indicator of Mute R. Kelly's success. In an interview with the
Associated Press, Odeleye reaffirmed the campaign's efforts to eliminate Kelly's remaining concert dates.[67]
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network spokeswoman Jodi Omear criticized the song's lyrics and stated, "Laws aren't opinions".[8] An attorney representing the family of Joycelyn Savage, one of the daughters mentioned in DeRogatis's BuzzFeed News article, rebuked Kelly for trying to "
shift the narrative" and demanded Savage's release.[68][69]
Kelly was convicted of nine criminal counts, including
racketeering (involving
sexual exploitation of a child, kidnapping,
bribery, and sex trafficking) and violations of the
Mann Act, on September 28, 2021.[70] A few fans of Kelly played "I Admit" beside the courthouse shortly after the judgment was issued.[71]