National Hockey League
Over the past six months or so, and more intensively over the past couple days, I have worked to get this article into better shape, by converting it to summary style, adding inline references, adding GFDL images, and better the lead. I'm tryting to hopefully get it to featured article status. I would like comments, however, on how to further improve the article; is anything missing, what can can be changed, any problems with the current set-up. I'd like to ask someone to go through and copyedit the english. Thanks. -- Jeff3000 17:04, 10 June 2006 (UTC)
The article looks in excellent shape with good referencing and is not far from FA standard. Some points:
- The third paragraph in the lead and the players section give a slight impression of POV along the lines of "the league was Canadian but has now been diluted by other nationalities", and reads as if European players participate due to media promotion in Europe. Presumably the reason the NHL has attracted players from other countries is because it has a higher standard of play than other leagues.
- On a related note, the NHL's position with regard to other ice hockey leagues in North America and the rest of the world should be included. While the lead says "It is the premier professional ice hockey league in the world", the claim is not expanded upon or verified in the main body.
- It is not necessary to give an overview of the rules of ice hockey, as this is an article about a league rather than the sport itself, though rule differences specific to the NHL should still be included.
- The caption for the photo of Mario Lemieux is odd. It reads "Mario Lemieux after his first retirement in 1997" but he is on ice looking like he is playing.
- "The National Hockey League season is divided into a regular season where teams play each other in a predefined schedule." I presume this sentence is incomplete.
- There are a couple of areas which could do with copyediting, but you are already aware of this.
Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 12:34, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for the suggestions Oldelpaso. I've tried reworded the lead and players section to try to get away from the POV you mentioned in your first bullet. Regarding the second bullet, I think it's a very good point, but I don't know where to insert the information (do you have any suggestions?). I've also fixed the 4th and 5th bullet points. In regards to the rules, the reason I have that information is that I think a lot of readers who are totally not familiar with the NHL but see it on TV are confused about the offside and icing rules, and think that information should be in the article. Again thanks for the help. -- Jeff3000 14:16, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
- Agreed. Without actually reading the article to see the length or context, every league has its own variation of the rules. A subpage, if nothing else, is due measure. -- Zanimum 17:53, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
- Oh, there is a subpage. Cool. -- Zanimum 17:55, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
I think the article could use some more discussion on some of the issues the league is facing, particluarly the low TV ratings and generally low level of interest in the U.S. Some of the information on the sport itself, which is already at ice hockey, can be removed. -- Mwalcoff 08:40, 18 June 2006 (UTC)
- Done, I added a television section. Furthermore, in the summary style, some information about the sport of ice hockey is needed. -- Jeff3000 03:22, 20 June 2006 (UTC)