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Second attempt at creating entry for VSP Vision Care. Used feedback from previous reviewer who flagged for speedy deletion
Brianboulton comments: The article contains important and interesting information on a very worthwhile organization. However, it does not at present correspond to Wikipedia article standards. Here are some areas requiring attention.
Lead is a brief introduction, rather than a summary of the complete article
The exaggerated logo in the infobox looks like advertising/promotional material rather than something appropriate to a neutral encyclopedia article.
References should be properly formatted, and listed in a "References" section. At present they are bare links to web pages. See
WP:CITE/ES for information on how to format references.
The prose requires a more detached tone than is evident here. It reads as though from a promotional leaflet.
Prose style requires attention. In the first main section, four successive paragraphs begin with "VSP..." Some variety of expression is necessary.
Section titles cannot be the same as the article title.
See Manual of style (
WP:MOS) for rules relating to capitalization in section titles. For example, Community Benefit should be Community benefit, Charity Programs should be Charity programs, etc.
The article requires categories.
I hope you find these comments helpful.
Brianboulton (
talk) 23:38, 12 July 2009 (UTC)reply