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I've been working on this article for about a year now, and I'd like to take it to FAC. It's bound to be rather rough around the edges, so all comments are appreciated.
There are at least 14 situation reports and 11 flash reports, ten sit. reps. and eleven flash for North Carolina and four sit. reps. for Virginia that you should incorporate into the article They're listed below
I'll comment on prose and other details later, still searching to see if there are more reports available.
Cyclonebiskit (
talk) 17:45, 23 August 2009 (UTC)reply
Thanks, I'll work on adding these in later. –Juliancolton |
Talk 17:49, 23 August 2009 (UTC)reply
Comments on prose
Lead
Hurricane Bonnie was an extensively studied major hurricane that made landfall in North Carolina, United States, inflicting severe crop damage. - What's a major hurricane? How much was there in crop damage, how much in property?
On August 22, Bonnie was upgraded to a hurricane with a well-defined eye. The storm peaked as a Category 3 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale, and around the same time, the storm slowed and turned more towards the north-northwest. - This makes it seem that it reached Category 3 on August 22, which isn't true, it attained Cat:3 nearly two days later
When added, put some of the relief funds and recovery efforts in the lead
Meteorological history
On August 14, 1998, a tropical wave emerged off the west coast of Africa just north of Dakar... - What country is Dakar in?
Deep convection slowly developed closer to the center,[4] and at 1200 UTC on August 20, the depression was upgraded into Tropical Storm Bonnie... - When was it upgraded to a depression? You seem to skip that key detail
...minimum central barometric pressure of 1001 mb. - add the conversion for the pressure in inHg
...which occurred with a substantial 15 mb drop in 8 hours - same as above
"a hurricane with a well-defined eye" or "a hurricane, with a well-defined eye" - subtle difference, but do you get where I'm coming from?
Peak wind in the lead says 104mph, infobox says 115mph.
"Reports.. were reported." - reads poorly.
"Africa just north of" - comma after Africa.
General question - do the storm track images ever allow someone to work out where the start and finish points are?
"Bonnie began to organize its broad circulation " - a bit too
anthropomorphic for me. I know there are other examples of this, but this one seems the most extreme.
"The next National Hurricane Center (NHC) advisory ..." - did I miss the first one?
Would link anticyclone.
"at 0000 on August 28" missing a UTC.
You link Antigua etc but not the Virgin Islands in the same sentence. Be consistent.
"North Carolina – Virginia " should this be a spaced en-dash or an unspaced en-dash?