![]() | This user is a student editor in Texas_AM/Technical_Editing_(Spring_2019). |
Havanese dog The audience for this article is comprised of current owners of a Havanese, anyone interested in potentially owning one, or someone that wants to explore the advantages and disadvantages of certain dog breeds. The purpose of the article is to give a general explanation of the breed, including its temperament, health, appearance, care, and history. The article succeeds in providing an abundance of information about the Havanese breed, but could use some improvements. It is not the information in the article that is lacking, but rather the way in which it is presented. First, the lead is lengthy and redundant, as it gives many details that can be found in the appropriate sections later in the article. Additionally, the article requires additional citations in the "Temperament" section. I also believe the "At work" section could use some improvements. Possibly changing the title to "Duties" would be more relevant to its content. Finally, the article needs to be written in a style that reflects the encyclopedic tone.
Tattoo artist This article is geared towards those interested in a profession as a tattoo artist or those beginning to get tattooed, and want to learn more about the role of a tattoo artist. However, this article is written as a personal essay and requires citations. It needs to be rewritten from a neutral point of view with an encyclopedic tone. I believe the article may benefit from a "Tattoo styles" section, as this reflects upon the artist themselves. This could replace the current "Artwork" section, which only has a couple sentences which do not provide sufficient information. As well, a "Famous tattoo artist" section could give readers some reference to examples of popular artists. In the talk page, someone pointed out that some of the terms in the "Tools" section are technical and may be inaccessible to the average reader, so this section should be revised using simpler language.
Gender in horror films This article is an essay posted to Wikipedia, so it needs many changes. Its audience consists of those interested in the horror genre as well as those interested in how gender is portrayed in a variety of media, including film. Because this is an essay, it has a personal tone which needs to be revised as an encyclopedic style with a neutral perspective. I was a bit confused by what the "Women vs men" section would be about, as the title is vague. I think revising it as "Portrayal of women vs men" would be more clear. This section also presents opinions without a factual basis or citations.