From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article ( | visual edit | history) · Article talk ( | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ceranthor ( talk · contribs) 16:45, 3 April 2019 (UTC) reply


I'll review this. ceran thor 16:45, 3 April 2019 (UTC) reply

Sorry for the delay. Should post comments within the next 24 hrs or so. ceran thor 22:34, 9 April 2019 (UTC) reply

Prose

Lead
  • "MLS Cup 2006 was the 11th edition of the MLS Cup, - not sure edition works here for a sporting event
  • "MLS Cup 2006 was the 11th edition of the MLS Cup, the championship match of Major League Soccer (MLS), and was contested between the New England Revolution and the Houston Dynamo to decide the champion of the 2006 season." - think this sentence would be more readable if the second half was split into its own sentence
  • "The match took place on November 12, 2006, at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, Texas, which had hosted the previous edition." - same note as first
    • Moved the date to the split first sentence.
  • "with Ching scoring the winning penalty" - missing the word "kick" here I think
    • Added.
  • "Both teams qualified for the playoffs placing second in their respective conference" - probably should clarify that you mean during the regular season
    • Fixed.
Venue
  • "The match was hosted at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, Texas, which had been the host of the previous edition" - "Been the host" gives it a human quality; think "had hosted" works better
    • Replaced with "venue of the previous final"
  • "The $80 million stadium was opened in August 6, 2005, and used primarily as the home of FC Dallas.[2] " - don't need the comma after 2005, and I would suggest tweaking "and used primarily" to "served primarily..."
    • Replaced as suggested, but the comma is staying per MOS:DATECOMMA.
  • "MLS announced that Pizza Hut Park would repeat as the MLS Cup home venue" - not sure you need the word "home" here; it repeated as the "venue"
    • Done.
Road to the final
  • "The New England Revolution finished as MLS Cup runners-up in 2002 and 2005, losing both to the Los Angeles Galaxy in overtime.[11]" - losing both "championship games"; need to restate the noun since otherwise losing both doesn't quite work grammatically
    • Fixed.
  • "The return of Dempsey and other injured players inspired the team earn" - I'd replace "inspired" here; and I think a "to" is missing before "earn"
    • Fixed.
  • "Another six-match winless run in July and August, blamed on long road trips in the schedule, saw the Revolution fall further behind D.C. United in the Eastern Conference standings while remaining in second place.[19][20]" - don't think you previously mentioned that DC United was first, so this is a bit confusing
    • Added a mention in the previous paragraph.
  • "He would later go on to miss five more matches" - personal preference for sure, but are "would" and "go on to" necessary here when "later missed" would say the same thing?
    • Fixed.
  • "The Dynamo responded with two goals in quick succession by Paul Dalglish: a 5-yard (4.6 m) shot in the 10th minute, and a 21st-minute header on a cross by Brian Mullan." - don't need the comma
    • Fixed.
Broadcasting
  • "earning a Nielsen rating of 0.8.[51] " - would be nice to explain how many people that translates to
    • Added a real audience number from another source, which seems to correspond with printout data from the time.
Match
  • "n previous 14 meetings" - switch "14" and "previous"?
    • Fixed.
  • "Injuries to several of New England's starting players, including Clint Dempsey, Steve Ralston, and Daniel Hernandez led to uncertainty of the team's starting lineup.[28][55] " - "uncertainty of"? It should be "uncertainty surrounding"
    • Fixed.
  • "Several thousand Dynamo fans made the 260-mile (420 km) trip to Pizza Hut Park from Houston on Interstate 45 " - seems awfully exact... wouldn't it depend where they're coming from in Houston? Seems kind of crufty to me.
    • Some sources have 275 miles too, so I'll just set it to "over 260". I-45 is the direct route between the two cities, though, and the caravan is worth mentioning for how rarely it happens in U.S. soccer.
  • "Houston began the match with a 4–4–2 formation, but switched to match" - don't need the comma
    • Done, while also switching around the tail end of that sentence.
  • "The Dynamo dropped their attacking players into the midfielder and defense" - not sure what this means
    • Fixed the typo.
  • "The Dynamo dropped their attacking players into the midfielder and defense to resist attacks from the Revolution" - the use of "attacks" here is odd
    • Changed to "pressure".
  • " who headed the ball into the net and tie the match at 1–1 " - should be "tied"
    • Fixed.
  • "The penalty shootout featured no saves or misses in the first two rounds, with Houston's coming from extra time substitutes Kelly Gray and Stuart Holden and New England's scored by Shalrie Joseph and goalkeeper Matt Reis.[67] " - Houston's and New England's what, though? Shots? Goals?
    • Reworked the entire sentence.
Post-match
  • "The Dynamo were also received by President George W. Bush at the White House in May 2007, becoming the second MLS team to be received at the White House.[71]" - repetition of "received"; would suggest replacing one of them
    • Replaced the second one with "honored"

Will post reference and image comments later today. ceran thor 15:50, 10 April 2019 (UTC) reply

References

  • What makes MLSnet.com a reliable source?
  • What makes MLSsoccer.com a reliable source?
    • MLSsoccer.com (known as MLSnet.com prior to 2011) is the league's official website, but the news arm is considered an independent operation (hence why they post rumors and such). The contributors, however, are writers who have bylines in newspapers and for major sports publications like SI, ESPN, etc., so I don't think there's an issue here. Sounder Bruce 23:52, 10 April 2019 (UTC) reply
  • Otherwise, formatting is consistent and sources seem reliable.

Images

Nice work. ceran thor 19:12, 10 April 2019 (UTC) reply

@ Ceranthor: Thanks for the review. I have made almost all of the changes that were suggested, and I also made a soft revert on some of the removed duplicate links. Sounder Bruce 00:29, 11 April 2019 (UTC) reply
@ SounderBruce: Passing, but per MOS:DUPLINK I disagree with the soft revert. Obviously not a big issue - just providing where my reasoning for preferring no duplicate links comes from. ceran thor 14:13, 12 April 2019 (UTC) reply
Retrieved from " https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Talk:MLS_Cup_2006/GA1&oldid=892144829"