"with lyrics about overcoming" → "its lyrics are about overcoming"
"it was written by" → "The song was written by" as its own sentence to avoid a run-on here; move the writing to the sentence after the lead single release too
"VVN and composed by the latter two" → "VVN, while composed by the latter two"
""Flower" was commercially successful" → "The song was commercially successful" and before the sentence, place the one about the song's critical reception
The song is only sourced as reaching number two on the South Korean Digital Chart in the body, no mention of South Korea songs whatsoever so remove this if it is not able to be sourced
"reached the top ten" → "reached the top 10" per
MOS:NUM
"The track also became" → "The song also became" adding that it reached the top-40 on both the Canada and UK charts
I believe the Coachella performance should be mentioned in the same sentence as the Inkigayo one since this is a major festival
"On April 5, Jisoo received" → "On April 5, 2023, Jisoo received"
All done. Please take a moment to review and ensure everything is in order.
Lililolol (
talk·contribs) May 2, 2024 (UTC)
Lililolol Nice work, although I would like to ask why is the Billboard South Korea Songs chart still included when it is not sourced anywhere in the body and can you mention the studio in the body since it is sourced in the album's article so add here? --
K. Peake 19:45, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake Hi, I believe I did source it at the "Commercial performance" section
Lililolol (
talk) 19:47, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
"can you mention the studio in the body since it is sourced in the album's article so add here?-" Okay I will add it here.
Lililolol (
talk) 19:48, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
After checking, it wasn't mentioned anywhere in the article, neither in the album nor the song, so I removed it.
Lililolol (
talk) 19:52, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Background and release
Merge with the below section and retitle to Background and composition
"An accompanying music video for the song" → "A music video for the song"
The source does not mention the video being uploaded to Blackpink's
YouTube channel, also 22 seconds and 40 million are not sourced (YouTube will need wikilinking too)
"captures Jisoo's journey" → "captures Jisoo's alter ego" per the source
"by different kinds of flowers." → "by vases of pink flowers." per the source
"She roams around the building dressed in elaborate gowns while lost in her thoughts,"" → "She walks around the hotel wearing elaborate gowns while occupied in her thoughts," or something similar, to avoid using the quote from the source
"she goes on" → "Jisoo goes on"
"where she "symbolizes that end by donning" → "where she symbolizes the ending by "donning" for less quoting again
The number of accolades for the music video itself is a sufficient amount to write out in prose instead, so add a section with these and any reviews too if you can find them
The music video hasn't received any detailed reviews, just what might be considered routine coverage per
WP:ROUTINE. However, I moved its accolades to the Synopsis section.
Lililolol (
talk·contribs) May 3, 2024 (UTC)
Live performances
Move img left
"On April 8, Jisoo" → "On April 8, 2023, Jisoo"
Mention the red flower during the first performance's set
"on April 15." → "on April 15, 2023."
All done except for "mentioning the red flower during the first performance's set" because I couldn't find it. The first performance was at the Tokyo concert, right? However, the article didn't mention anything about the flower set.
Lililolol (
talk·contribs) May 3, 2024 (UTC)
Accolades
This should be the section after critical reception instead. More re-arranging is needed, with the music video awards being the ones suitable to write out in that section as I mentioned and per information like the first music show win written in the lead, add a summary in prose above the tables for key awards and programs
Cite
Apple Music as publisher instead with the wikilink on ref 76
Kyle Peake Hi, I removed WP:FORBES. It seems that the order of references is different from yours. For example, reference number 18 appears to be Rolling Stone, not Grammy. (
talk) , 3 May 2024
Kyle Peake Hi, upon reviewing the section once more, I'm confident that I've rectified all the issues you pointed out. (
talk) , 9 May 2024
Final comments and verdict
On hold until all of the issues are fixed; this did not take long at all! --
K. Peake 12:41, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
I believe I've addressed everything except for the References section. Other than that, please double-check everything before passing or failing the article to ensure that everything is in order.
Lililolol (
talk) 20:36, 3 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Lililolol Thank you for the response, however there are a few things I still need you to go through. The social media in background should say YG Entertainment, source does not list digital download and streaming, instances of MOS:QUOTE issues are still prevalent, YouTube channel upload not sourced for music video, red flower mention should be added for first performance, MOS:QWQ is still prevalent in refs and you should cite Official Charts Company as publisher instead;
this is the original revision to come in handy! --
K. Peake 07:01, 10 May 2024 (UTC)reply
@
Kyle Peake Hi, sorry for the delayed response. I tried my best and went over all references to fix capitalization and quotation issues. If there are still any issues, please give me the name of the website/publisher to fix, but not the reference number because it appears in a different order on my device.
I fixed the issue in the Background section.
Regarding "red flower mention should be added for the first performance," I couldn't find anything about it.
For "you should cite Official Charts Company as publisher," I believe I did. There are only two references on the list, and I cited both as the publisher.
I believe the red flower you mentioned was in the second performance, not the first one, so I included it accordingly.
Lililolol (
talk) 19:34, 17 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Lililolol Sending my thanks to you once again and I've worked on any refs, although to be clear with the MOS:QUOTE issues in prose these are sentences where the punctuation is inside the quote but it is not a full sentence quoted, same goes for if there are commas inside quotes. --
K. Peake 07:09, 18 May 2024 (UTC)reply