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Hey All,
As I’ve read through this article I’ve found some things I wanted to bring to attention. With regard to the diaspora section; The early Chamorros that migrated to the US were Guamanians who moved to the US in the first decade of the 20th century. In the following decades small groups of Guamanians emigrated to Hawaii and the Western of the United States, where worked as farmers.[31] The population of Guam got the American citizenship in 1929.[32] So, after the end of World War II, many more Guamanians emigrated to the US. Most of them were in the military or married with military people.[31]
“The population of Guam got” they did not; they gained, in the context of the statement. “So,” is unnecessary, as well as the rest of the sentence. There is some merit to mentioning that U.S. Military influence played a role in the increase of migration of Chamorros to the U.S., however, this should be supported by a percentage that is verifiable. To make things worse, the very next paragraph is worded only slightly better and directly contradicts the information preceding it.
“In 1950 the population of Guam gained the full American citizenship,[33] which favoured Guamanian migration to the US. So, the first major Guamanian migration emerged and more of 160 Guamanians emigrated to the US in the 50s. Many of them moved to California.[34] In 1952, Guamanian immigrants founded their first organization in US: The Guam Territorial Society (later renamed as The Guam Society of America), in Washington D.C., where worked for the Department of Defense and developing military operations.“
Was citizenship for Chamorro people granted in 1929 or 1950? The addition of “which favoured Guamanian migration to the U.S.” is superfluous. “So, the first major Guamanian migration emerged and more of 160 Guamanians emigrated to the US in the 50s. Many of them moved to California.[34]“ This section should be answered in a more concise statement of the information above. “ In 1952, Guamanian immigrants founded their first organization in US: The Guam Territorial Society (later renamed as The Guam Society of America), in Washington D.C., where worked for the Department of Defense and developing military operations.“ This is a run-on sentence and serves to provide minimal information in regard to diaspora.
These issues should be given concern and dealt with in a timely manner in my personal opinion. Doctorlavender ( talk) 12:18, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 14 February 2022 and 22 April 2022. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Annaaguo ( article contribs). Peer reviewers: Smercier18.