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My concerns with the length and lack of detail, as I had with the other Buffalo articles, apply here, and as such I'm failing it.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear 19:31, 16 July 2010 (UTC)reply
... for the expansion Buffalo Braves franchise ... Please explain what an expansion franchise is for those unfamiliar with basketball terminology.
... the team made a series of player transactions that were part of the resume that earned Buffalo Braves General Manager Eddie Donovan the NBA Executive of the Year Award ... "resumé" (note the accent) is not the right word here.
Donovan's season compounded his reputation as a wheeler and dealer. Compounded is not right either.
Prior to the 1973–74 NBA season ...; Prior to the start of the season the Braves... Two sentences starting with the same phrase. Clumsy.
The Braves drafted four players in the 1973 NBA Draft who played for the 1973–74 team: DiGregorio, Ken Charles, Mike Macaluso, and Jim Garvin Clumsy, rephrase for clarity.
The team reached five games over .500 several time Surely "times"?
Two weeks later on November 28, the Braves were victimized by Pete Maravich who entered the game in the second quarter and posted 42 points off the bench to lead the Atlanta Hawks over the Braves by 130–106. Victimized? This is really too full of jargon.
It was the last time in NBA history that one player averaged both 30 points and 15 rebounds in an NBA season. Last time? Has the NBA folded?
However, the Braves had won the most recent two matches after 22 straight defeats, including 5 earlier this season. Surely "that season"?
Weasel words such as "blew", "erupted"
Then when a McAdoo shot fell out of the rim, McMillian tipped the ball in as time expired for the victory. Clumsy, rephrase for clarity.
Overall, poorly written, jargon laden. Put yourself in the place of someone who knows less about basketball than you obviously do. Good encyclopaedia articles need to be written clearly in good plain English. Take a look at [[WP::WikiProject Military history/Academy/Copy-editing essentials#Language tips]]. Although written for the MilHist project the concepts there apply to all articles. See also
Wikipedia:Use plain English. Reorganise the sections such as Transactions, Regular season, etc. so that each has a clear narrative flow, rather than being an almost random assembly of facts.
Several references appear to have double titles, see #4 & #47 for example.
Those references that I could access appear mostly OK, but I note an over reliance on Basketball-Reference.com
ref #16 & #17 don't actually say that the players didn't play in the 73-74 season. They just don't mention that season.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Hard to say in the present state of the article. Would be good to see what the press reported about the season. Did the club make money, lose money? What was reported about fan reaction?
Since this is just going to keep getting nominated, I'll do a review of it to try and get it to GA status, not bothering with a quick-fail. First thing I noticed is that the regular season section is still rather short. Much like the baseball and hockey articles that are GAs, the regular season should have a month-by-month breakdown. Expand that as such and I'll get to looking over everything else.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear 16:00, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
Aside from American football, where week-by-week detail is reasonable due to the fact that the season has a much more limited number of games, it seems that there is only one other pre-internet era (c.1996-present) professional sport (admittedly I only looked for baseball, basketball and hockey) season GA (
1985–86 Calgary Flames season). That was recently promoted and not held to the standard that you request. However, that aside, the request will take a bit of research. I am not sure how much notable stuff happened apart from what is mentioned, but I will try.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 16:19, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I have reorganized the content that was there a bit more. Is it ready for your perusal?--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 21:06, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
It's looking better, yes. What I would do is look through
Google Archives, using various search terms for the buffalo team, if you're struggling to find more information to add in. There's not a huge amount of information since it is pre-internet, but it is out there.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear 01:21, 12 October 2010 (UTC)reply
This has inspired me to expand the subsequent two seasons that are also at GAC.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 20:07, 13 October 2010 (UTC)reply
Definitely looking better, though even some more is probably possible. I'll review it tomorrow, so I'll be able to tell more clearly where the article's lacking, if it is at all.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear 02:24, 15 October 2010 (UTC)reply
Anyway, here's the issues I found in the review:
"After three consecutive 60-loss seasons, the team made the NBA playoffs for the first time and became the youngest team to have done so in terms of average player age." were they the youngest that season, or are they an all-time team in this regard? I presume the former, but if it's the latter then that can be emphasized a bit more. Noted in the playoffs section, though a reword in the lead would be alright.
"The Elmore Smith trade, which was controversial at first," Any controversy I would add in with the offseason trade note. I know the Lakers brought him in as possibly taking over for Chamberlain, but I'm not finding much on Buffalo's end. If nothing else, note that they traded 'their top scorer and rebounder' in Smith.
[3]
The source that I was summarizing says "Prior to the start of the season the Braves would trade Elmore Smith to the Los Angeles Lakers for Jim McMillian, at first the trade was questioned."--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:FOUR) 00:01, 17 October 2010 (UTC)reply
"On February 1, the Braves traded Kunnert and Wohl to the Rockets for Goukas and Marin." who? (need full names and links for the Rockets players, and Rockets should also be linked).
"The Braves made the playoffs by finishing in 3rd place in the Atlantic Division." This is in a weird spot in the article. I'd move it at the end of the paragraph, rewording now that it'll be there.
"Through 4 games, the series was even at 2 games. However the Celtics would pull away with 2 more wins to take the series in 6 games." spell out numbers.
Were there any major trades/coaching changes that happened right at the end? I imagine not since they were a much-improved team, but it so then a section on that could be added.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear 01:03, 17 October 2010 (UTC)reply
I already have " Following the season the team lost Bob Kauffman" in the article.--
TonyTheTiger (
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WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR) 01:12, 17 October 2010 (UTC)reply
Alright, after quite a bit of work, I think this article is finally worthy of GA status, so I'm passing it.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear 01:14, 17 October 2010 (UTC)reply
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