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Second or Third?
The article states, in the opening paragraph, that this ship "was the third ship of the United States Navy to be named in honor of the 24th state." On the page for the
USS Missouri (BB-63) it says that THAT ship was the third. Looking at this page:
USS Missouri , it looks as if this ship should be the second, and that the other page is right. Does anyone have proof either way?
121.72.241.213 07:52, 18 October 2007 (UTC)reply
Whose husband?
"sponsored by Mrs. Edson Fessenden Gallaudet, daughter of United States Senator Francis Marion Cockrell of Missouri, whose husband and commissioned on 1 December 1903, Captain William S. Cowles in command." - it is not making sense. Francis Marion Cockrell is a male, whose daughter christened/launched the USS Missouri (BB-12). Was it her husband Edson or was it her father Sen. Cockrell commissioned the ship?
Samuelsenwd (
talk) 06:31, 9 June 2013 (UTC)reply
The lead summarises the article well, I was initially going to suggest re-phrasing the opening sentence but I dropped it after discovering the structure was used in various other battleship GAs
"the Atlantic Fleet circumnavigated the globe as the so-called Great White Fleet" - why 'so-called'? Was the Great White Fleet the official name? I haven't seen anything otherwise in other articles
The "Great White Fleet" was just a nickname for the fleet.
"She served briefly as a troopship in 1919, carrying American soldiers back from France, before being decommissioned in September" - she was decommissioned in September of 1919? If so it would be better as before being decommissioned the following September or September later that year
How about just "that year"?
"She had a crew of 561 officers and enlisted men, which increased to 779–813" - did the crew increase during the war?
Don't know for sure, but I'd assume so - Conway's doesn't say.
"The conning tower had 10 in (250 mm) thick sides" - in this instance it should be written as "inch"
Done
"She steamed out of Norfolk" - wrong Norfolk!
I did that in another article too!
On hold
Very minor stuff. Once again this is a well-written article with few issues to bring up. Initially the review was longer as I suggested a re-phrase of the opening sentence, but I realised it didn't matter. Once they're all addressed this will become another GA JAGUAR 22:27, 13 July 2015 (UTC)reply