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This article was
copy edited by
Miniapolis, a member of the Guild of Copy Editors, on 20 August 2016.Guild of Copy EditorsWikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsTemplate:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsGuild of Copy Editors articles
Due to the large discussion held on the article review between myself and another editor that has been collapsed on the review page, I will be repasting the majority of what was written for ease of accessibility for any editor that would like to review these changes.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
I have noticed a long-standing tradition that list articles for military ships use the following table:
Ship
Armament
Armor
Displacement
Propulsion
Service
Laid down
Commissioned
Fate
I would expect that any A level list article about military ships, and indeed any article about a military ship, be able to describe the ship to at the least this detail. It's rather important that a person going through this article is given an overview of the ships in terms of the guns and weapons on it (armament), the thickness of the armour, how heavy it is (displacement; the amount of water it displaces in weight should equal the weight of the actual ship), the propulsion system (engines, shafts, what have you), and a brief overview of the ships service (as described by the table). I am however okay with the current additions of origin and references and definitely recommend they be left as part of the current tables.
Sub-note; if one or more of these pieces of information is not available, on the count of the fact that these are current military ships and detailed data on them may not be publicly available, then the omission of that information is of course acceptable. I can't expect you to add information that isn't available after all.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
16:17, 28 July 2016 (UTC)reply
Note; implementing this will still affect the way the article is written, each of the classes would need to have their own table and section which should include a summary of the ship class as well. The images in the table would probably need to be moved out of the table and set neatly under the section title and above the actual table. The no. of ships section would become redundant in this case. I'll add however, if each of the ships in the class are identical to each other in terms of the raw data (armament, armour, displacement etc) then it may not be necessary to redesign the article entirely in this way. Just include the missing information pertinent to each class and that should solve this issue.
There is are a few bolded words in the lede, is this necessary or can we de-bold all these words?
Temporary note; I have only skimmed the article at this point, I will take a more in-depth look at it tomorrow and will update with further thoughts.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
16:13, 28 July 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Mr rnddude: Thank you for the suggestions. I will work them on accordingly. But before that, I have some doubts regarding the table you've suggested. Firstly, I cannot find the information about the 'Armor' for any of the ships. So, I wish to omit the column. And the same with 'Propulsion'. In this case, I am considering of replacing the 'Propulsion' column with 'Speed', which is available for all the ships. Secondly, it is regarding the armament. It is good to provide the information which is available, but I think adding information about the armament will make the column too heavy. For example: When you consider
INS Kolkata (D63), it information regarding it armament from the article's infobox is as follows:
I figured that armour and propulsion might be a problem, I had looked at the Kolkata class ships and noted that armour information was not available. In terms of armament, it does seem to be a bit unwieldy, perhaps condensing it to something like;
4 × 8-cell
VLS, for a total of 32 anti-air missiles;
Barak 8 missiles (Range: 0.5 km (0.31 mi) to 90 km (56 mi))
2 × 8-cell UVLM for 16
BrahMos anti-ship and land-attack missiles
I'm not sure that the headings are entirely necessary since each line will describe the type of weapon itself. The downside is it looks less clean then with the headings. I do note however that both ships in the Kolkata class have the same armament, perhaps just have it look like this;
Class
Picture
Type
Ships
Armament
Origin
Displacement
References
I might also consider suggesting yet another version, Alternative the third;
Kolkata class
Ships
Picture
Armament
Displacement
Service
Origin
References
Laid down
Commissioned
The above are just a couple alternatives that would allow you to include the armament details. To just quickly explain this change, it's based on the premise of setting the class as the heading, including a paragraph about the class, and then using the table to deal with the major aspects of each ship. I will note that this will have a rather significant impact on the article, as such, I'm willing to get some outside opinions on my suggestion. I based my original comment off of prior experience with AL and FL class articles of this type, usually dealing with WW2 ships and not modern ones. Sorry for the walls of text though.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
04:33, 29 July 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Mr rnddude: I have reconstructed the commissioned ships section accordingly. Please review it and suggest the improvements required. If it is well and good, I'll the apply the same to the other two sections. Regards, KCVelaga☚╣✉╠☛08:38, 29 July 2016 (UTC)reply
Krishna Chaitanya Velaga I think it adds quite a bit to the list in both quantity and quality (will confirm on further reading) and I note that each class, currently operating, has been expanded quite a bit. Feel free to do the same to the other two sections as well.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
08:50, 29 July 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Mr rnddude: I have expanded the other two sections too. Please review the entire article accordingly and suggest any further improvements required. I have not included prose for the Kolkata class in future ships section, as prose of the class is already mentioned in previous section of Kolkata class in commissioned ships. Regards, KCVelaga☚╣✉╠☛12:47, 29 July 2016 (UTC)reply
Note, I will remove or archive this thread in about one week or at the end of the review, whichever is necessary Note also that I have greatly trimmed unnecessary content from the original thread, that content is already available in the article.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
13:19, 29 July 2016 (UTC)reply
I understand
Miniapolis's comment, however, I don't have a scroll bar appear on the bottom (from left to right) when I use my laptop and assume that a similar thing would be the case for many desktops. How wide is your screen Miniapolis? just so I can have an idea of how much it's affecting the readability. Do you need to scroll a lot or a little, in terms of columns; is it one column too wide or more. That way I can try to identify which columns are of least importance. Also, per chance, are you zoomed in to +125% or something? I only get a scroll bar at +150% hence why I ask.
Mr rnddude (
talk)
15:38, 18 August 2016 (UTC)reply
My desktop has an external 18-inch (46 cm) monitor. Looking at the first table, I think the images should be smaller to save space. The "Armament" column is too narrow, and there's no need for a separate "References" column; the ref(s) can be part of the "Origin" field on this table (and the last field on each line of the others). I haven't taken a look at the markup yet, but there may be other ways to minimize scrolling. All the best,
Miniapolis20:38, 18 August 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Miniapolis: I agree with
Mr rnddude that scroll bar doesn't appear on the bottom (l to r) in my desktop. My monitor is a just an inch bigger than yours i.e 19-inch (48 cm). Adjust the images sizes if required. But the images in decommissioned ships section were already small, I would prefer not reducing them further. I agree with your opinion regarding the references column. You may merge it up with "Origin" column if required. More importantly, please fix the issues with the grammar and style in the prose of the article. Regards, KC Velaga✉02:58, 19 August 2016 (UTC)reply
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