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"The 19th named storm and final hurricane of the above-average 1987 Pacific hurricane season, Hurricane Ramon originated from a tropical disturbance formed in early October." - The word "hurricane" is used three times in this sentence. It would be easiest to do away with the last one.
"Tropical Storm Ramon turned to the west-northwest from the west." - Was it originally moving to the west? If so, the sentence should probably be reworded to something like this: "Tropical Storm Ramon turned to the west-northwest, after previously moving westward."
"Ramon turned to the northwest and rapidly weakened over cooler water." - Water should be in its plural form (waters). Also, wikilink to
sea surface temperatures. Don't worry, I won't ask you to abbreviate. :P
Not when talking about waters, but did the former.
"While at sea, Ramon brought light rainfall to the Baja California Peninsula The remnants of Hurricane Ramon produced heavy rainfall that caused flooding in California, indirectly contributing to five traffic-related fatalities." - Hmm, that's a rather long sentence :P Missing a period between "Peninsula" and "The".
"Moderate flooding was also reported." - Wait, you basically just said there was flooding twice.
I need to run a mile for doing this. 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
The second paragraph of the lede is a little bit too short. Maybe briefly mention the rough seas in Baja California? Or elaborate a bit more on the beneficial rainfall in Utah?
I merged it with the 1st. This is a marginally notable storm.
YEPacificHurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)reply
"Initially, the storm was expected to move west and thus remain at sea; however, this did not occur." - Hold on, if Ramon expected to remain offshore, but that didn't occurred, does that mean the storm made landfall?
"Rapidly intensifying, Ramon reached major hurricane" - Wikilink to
rapid deepening. Also, a layman may not know what a major hurricane is.
It did not meet the meteorological definition of RD, but did the second.
YEPacificHurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)reply
"combination of jetstream interactions and increasingly cold sea-surface temperatures." - Why did you wait this long to wikilink
sea surface temperatures?
"Although Hurricane Ramon was far from the state at that time, a flash flood watch was issued for southern Orange, San Diego, western San Bernardino and Riverside counties, citing uncertainty in the storm's path." - There is no state name mentioned here. Maybe reword the first part to: "Although Hurricane Ramon was far from the state of California at that time, ..."?
After a few more fixes by myself, I am now gonna pass this article. Regards, --
12george1 (
talk) 16:37, 29 June 2013 (UTC)reply
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