I'll try and get to this before Sunday next. If you don't see any comments here by then, please ping me. --
ProtoDrake (
talk) 21:37, 12 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Okay, I spotted two biggies that stood out in the "Games" section.
Is Rodrigo Copetti and Brendan's Website valid sources? I've never heard of them before now.
None of the launch titles are cited.
The Re-releases section in general looks off.
Ref 56 uses two references in one citation, they need to be separated.
Thanks for these notes. I’ll tackle items 2, 3, and 4 in a day or so.
As to Copetti, he’s a
self-published author, which can be problematic. However, it’s clearly throughly researched, with sources cited and a change log provided. As self-published sources go, I feel it’s pretty close to perfect.
As to Brendan's Website, I would trust it. Here it appears to be a supplemental reference. Nothing there isn’t already supported by the other two refs. We can delete it.
RickyCourtney (
talk) 14:48, 19 May 2024 (UTC)reply
@
ProtoDrake I added a new introductory paragraph for the games section and a paragraph on the best-selling Game Boy video games. As requested, I added citations for the launch titles section. I removed the re-releases section, as it really has nothing to do with the Game Boy, but rather the later consoles.
RickyCourtney (
talk) 23:39, 21 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Full review
Lead (in progress)
"Designed by the team behind the Game & Watch handhelds and NES games (Satoru Okada, Gunpei Yokoi, and R&D1), it was Nintendo's first portable console, combining features from both." - This sentence seems strange. Generic NES games as a whole? I'd rephrase that to focus on who created it.
Done Did my best to reword the intro in light of this suggestion.
General note here, but perhaps cut down on the amount of links to avoid
WP:SEAOFBLUE
Done Let me know if even more needs to be done.
Development (in progress)
There's a lot of in-text Japanese being used here that could be incorporated into footnotes.
Done
"...who was also known to encourage the competition between the teams." - This reads oddly. Perhaps "who encouraged competition between teams."? I'm failing to see how this is relevant to the article anyway.
Done I agree and dropped the sentence from the article.
"Satoru Okada developed the Game Boy as a more portable version of the Famicom, inspired by the concept of interchangeable game cartridges." - You haven't introduced the Famicom, and you should drop the "more".
Done This was a duplicated sentence, so I did a rewrite to address.
"Game Boy was unveiled as a prototype in 1987..." - "The Game Boy was unveiled..."
Done With slightly different wording
Hardware
In progress...
Games
In progress...
Reception
In progress...
References (in progress)
Check through links to make sure there's consistency.
4Gamer.net and
Ars Technica aren't linked, for instance.
Also inconsistent linking of websites/publishers such as in Refs 4 and 6.
Ref 15 is tagged as needing a better source. Agree.
Also, general issue, but there's a list of sources I'd want you to double-check to ensure they were admissible for Wikipedia usage. Listing the ones that jumped out, with notes when possible.
This Page may be of help.
Ref 10: AllGame (See VG sources page, not typically trusted outside reviews, and this just seems to be an overview without secondary sources)
Ref 14: Wiktionary (not sure about the precedent of Wikipedia linking a sister site)
Ref 24: gekkio.fi
Ref 26: Pan Docs
Ref 28: Fruttenboel Gameboy Section
Ref 29: 8bitCollective (seems to be a Wiki)
Ref 40: tasvideos.org
Ref 35 is a WordPress blog, not usable.
@
RickyCourtney: This is a start. I didn't realise just how much of this page might need a question raising or point of writing addressing. I'll do my best to get the rest of this finished sooner rather than later. --
ProtoDrake (
talk) 12:42, 25 May 2024 (UTC)reply
I'll keep working on your suggestions. I realize this GAN review is a bit of a heavy lift, but this topic deserves a good article. You keep making suggestions and we will keep grinding on the improvements. Cheers! --
RickyCourtney (
talk) 22:03, 25 May 2024 (UTC)reply
I've done my best to address your concerns about the references. The ones I kept are supplementary, only adding additional detail to information sourced by more established references. I'm hesitant to take them all out. Some are self-published but seem very credible and are referenced by other reputable sources. --
RickyCourtney (
talk) 23:27, 26 May 2024 (UTC)reply