I am reviewing this GA nomination and I start it after two days. Thank you -- HindWikiConnect 02:42, 22 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Note: The reviewer can't review it further and they have requested to find someone else. Anyone interested in taking the review forward, are welcome.
Krish |
Talk 13:14, 22 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Lead
it stars Ranveer Singh as Bajirao I and Deepika Padukone as Mastani, with Priyanka Chopra playing Bajirao's first wife Kashibai - remove the characters from this sentence. Instead, introduce and link them in this sentence: the film narrates the story of the Maratha Peshwa Bajirao (1700-1740 AD) and his second wife Mastani.
Bhansali announced the film in 2003 but production was delayed several times due to its changing cast. Bajirao Mastani, a passion project for Bhansali, spent the next twelve years in development hell before being revived in 2014 - Please see that the math is correct. When a film enters production, it is no longer in development hell. Bajirao Mastani was revived in 2014 when filming began, so that means it was in development hell for less than 12 years, because 12 years after 2003 (when the film was originally announced) is 2015, when the film was released.
Principal photography was done on sets constructed in Film City - replace "was done" with "took place".
Padukone's performance as Mastani was much criticized - you could merge this with the previous sentence and remove "however" to maintain neutrality. Also, use Indian English (criticised).
Recipient of several accolades, Bajirao Mastani has won seven National Film Awards - I'd prefer something like, The recipient of several accolades, Bajirao Mastani won seven National Film Awards.
Plot
The actor names may be removed to reduce the word count (the plot should be no more than 700 words per
WP:FILMPLOT), and to avoid
overlinking.
Cast
Nice to see this complies with
WP:FILMCAST. The "as" in "Irrfan Khan as (Voice-over)" can be removed, since there are many articles that go like, * Actor (special appearance in the song "Bla Bla"). Or maybe you could write, Irrfan Khan as the narrator (voice-over).
Development
You have put the word "development hell" in quotes, possibly because of how informal the term is. While that is the name of the Wiki article, the
supporting source reads "developmental hell". You may remove the quotes from the word, as you need not follow the exact wording used in the source. Like in the lead, please make sure the math is correct.
Casting
Later, Milind Soman joined the cast - It is the beginning of a paragraph. It seems he joined the cast in late August 2014 as per the source. You may want to add the time of his casting.
Since no pictures of Kashibai existed the paintings of Raja Ravi Varma were used as a reference for designing her looks and costumes. You have to put a comma somewhere. Also, there is a painting by Varma placed in this section, which you should identify by name in its caption.
Trust me I wanted to do the same but there is not a single source which says that. But Chopra had tweeted about the same painting being the inspiration. Unfortunately, it was not covered by the media other than Bollywood Life. If you see the character poster of Kashibai, it is very similar to the Damayanthi painting. Both are standing beside a Swan sculpture.
Krish |
Talk 14:31, 24 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Music
the soundtrack album was composed by Bhansali & Devrath - the "&" indicates an official partnership between Bhansali and someone named Devrath (like
Simon & Garfunkel). But the latter is mentioned nowhere else in the article, especially the lead and infobox where Bhansali is listed as the sole composer of the soundtrack.
Even BH lists Bhansali as such, with no mention of anyone named Devrath, even in its
music review. Perhaps Devrath is best removed.
Marketing and release
News18.com should be re-written and linked as CNN-News18. Or simply News18.
"Video game" is a common term, so you may de-link it.
Historical inaccuracy
You may want to re-title this section because there seems to have been many inaccuracies. Also, why are there many redlinks? Do you intend to create articles on them? Kailash29792(talk) 12:08, 24 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Krish!, thank you for addressing these comments. I don't have much to say anymore (any minor issue, probably prose-related will be addressed by myself), but I hope
Ssven2 will keep his word of being guest reviewer. One last comment though: please reduce the usage of "film" in the lead section. --Kailash29792(talk) 15:51, 25 December 2017 (UTC)reply
"Mastani tolerates this insult and appears to dance before Bajirao on the occasion of Parava." — What do you mean by Parava here? Find a link or try to at least add a referenced footnote. If either of them is not possible, then just simply write it as "Mastani tolerates this insult and appears to dance before Bajirao."
"Shiva Bhatt, a Brahmin priest, informs Kashibai of a plan to murder Mastani and her son during a festival." — The festival is
Ganesh Chaturthi isn't it?
There is clearly some "Maha-arti" going on but the festival is not specified.
Krish |
Talk 19:17, 25 December 2017 (UTC)reply
"Aditya Pancholi joined the cast as an antagonist." — Mention that he is Shripad Rao with a reference stating the same.
When his casting was announced, his character was not specified.
Krish |
Talk 19:17, 25 December 2017 (UTC)·reply
"between 10-20 kilos" — rephrase it as "ten-twenty kilos" as you have written numbers above or equal to 100 as numbers, while those below 100 in words. Maintain consistency.
That's about it from me. I'll perform a source review tomorrow. —
Ssven2Looking at you, kid 17:27, 25 December 2017 (UTC)reply
Overall: Passed, my queries were met and solved by the nominator.
Pass or Fail:
@
Krish!: Congratulations. A Bhansali article (with him as director that is) has become a GA for the first time. As per
this edit, I hereby promote this article to GA. —
Ssven2Looking at you, kid 10:22, 27 December 2017 (UTC)reply