Passed.
Sammi Brie (she/her •
t •
c) 03:28, 9 September 2023 (UTC)reply
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
He transferred to the Space Force in 2020 where he served as its first chief operations officer. Maybe reword to He transferred in 2020 to the Space Force, serving as its first chief operations officer.
In 1996, Saltzman was selected for the Air Force Intern Program where he was assigned to Air Force office of the director of intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance and the Air Staff History Office. Add a comma after Program. Add "the" after "assigned to". Capitalize the title of the USAF office; it appears to be a proper noun.
While on the Air Staff, he worked planning, programming and budgeting issues for the Information Warfare Panel, wrote higher headquarters inspection classification guidance for information operations and provided historical research for the chief of staff of the United States Air Force. The first list item has a comma, so semicolons are needed. While on the Air Staff, he worked planning, programming and budgeting issues for the Information Warfare Panel; wrote higher headquarters inspection classification guidance for information operations; and provided historical research for the chief of staff of the United States Air Force. (You can probably get away with changing United States Air Force to USAF here.)
In September 2016, General David L. Goldfein outlined his three priorities as chief of staff of the United States Air Force, among them is advancing multi-domain, multi-functional command and control. The part after "Among them" is a sentence of its own. The comma before "Among" should be a semicolon, and maybe "was" instead of "is"
(1) avoiding operational surprise, (2) deny first-mover advantage, and (3) responsible counterspace campaigning "denying" would be a better counterpart to the "-ing" in the other two items
Is sortedbybirthdate.com a reliable source, especially for a BLP? Is there a more reliable source, maybe from the Space Force, for the birthdate?
@
KingEdinburgh: Another source is needed here for the birthdate per
WP:BLPPRIMARY. We can't just use public record for this on a BLP. Please reply to me when you have changed out this source.
Sammi Brie (she/her •
t •
c) 22:02, 3 September 2023 (UTC)reply
@
KingEdinburgh That doesn't exactly look like a
reliable source to me. It may be that you cannot list a birth date in this article while citing it to an RS. (I'd take a year only if you could get that from one of the military bios, etc.)
Sammi Brie (she/her •
t •
c) 21:48, 8 September 2023 (UTC)reply
Good,
KingEdinburgh. You can't say "June 30", but you can say 1969 and everything else in the article around his birthdate with that source. Edit the article and make it conform to that information, and it will be passable.
Sammi Brie (she/her •
t •
c) 00:32, 9 September 2023 (UTC)reply
13: The link is dead. I ran IABot to add archives to pages...stand by...
OK, that's done. Almost checks out. But it's Director, Strategic Integration Group, not Initiatives. Fix. Y
17: That's what U.S. Air Forces Central Command did when choosing its first non-flying deputy Combined Force Air Component Commander.Y
24: Mission capable rates and other traditional measures of readiness don’t translate to Space Force, Saltzman said. “Readiness is that term of art to express: Can you do your mission or not?” he observed. He said he was about to take a briefing on readiness and expected to be “underwhelmed,” because “quite frankly, we took a system that was primarily designed to show how Air Force expeditionary units made themselves ready for deployment or a high-end fight, and we tried to make that system work for Space Force,” which usually operates from garrison and is doing its mission every day.Y
31: The whole paragraph starting in To ensure the Space Force can accomplish this important mission, we need to be successfulacross three broad fronts...Y
36: Hoping to prod a debate on the Space Force’s future, Chief of Space Operations Gen. B. Chance Saltzman unveiled his “Theory of Success” concept Feb. 22, as the force carves out its military role. Within this debate, he said some ambiguity is acceptable.Y
Earwig has a higher than normal similarity percentage to the Space Force biography (attributed PD-USGov, so fine) and the "Salty" quote (attributed).
Media
The page is loaded with images and a long sound sample. Everything is PD-USGov. Encouragement (not needed for GA status): Add
alt text.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.